In today’s ever-evolving world, masculinity is under the microscope, scrutinised, criticised, redefined, and sometimes even demonised. But beyond the noise lies a quiet truth: the world still desperately needs good men. Men who lead with integrity, feel deeply yet act decisively, and pass on a legacy their sons and society can look up to.
As a woman, I’ve been reflecting deeply on what it truly means to celebrate and support men, especially in a world that sends so many mixed signals about masculinity.
Since this month is dedicated to Men’s Mental Health, it’s an opportune time to talk about what it really means to be a man in this present age and time.
Let’s be honest: the expectations are complex and often conflicting. Society tells men to “man up” and be strong, but also to be vulnerable and emotionally available. To be providers, but also present. To lead, but never dominate. To show confidence, but not arrogance. For many, it feels like walking a tightrope with no safety net.
Add to this the burden of silence. From a young age, boys are often taught to suppress, to endure, to be tough. As adults, this silent struggle can become a mental health crisis. Depression, anxiety, emotional fatigue, and burnout are common, but rarely talked about.
Yet, in the middle of all this noise and confusion, a powerful form of masculinity is demanded, and quietly rising: positive masculinity.
For me, positive masculinity isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about using strength to protect, not to control. It’s about emotional honesty, responsible leadership, and being the kind of man who lifts others, especially the next generation. Who lead with conviction, and who model the kind of strength that builds rather than breaks.
Fathers, uncles, brothers, mentors, teachers, you are more needed than ever. Young boys are watching. And where role models are absent, culture, peer pressure, and social media gladly step in to fill the void. You must ask yourselves: What values are you modelling? What kind of man are you teaching your son to become?
Here’s a truth we can’t escape: If we don’t intentionally shape the next generation, the world will do it for us. And right now, the world isn’t doing a great job.
As we reflect on Men’s Mental Health Awareness this month, our LRM community is also engaging deeply with the theme: Reflect, Realign, Renew: The Benefits and Best Practices of Self-Reflection. There’s no better time to bring these conversations together and apply them to what it means to be a man today.
For our June conversation in LRM, We had a guest speaker with us in the room on Sunday the 16h in the person of Rev. Fr. Benjamin O. Ulebor. Continuing with this write up, I reecho some of the things he shared with us during the session.
Reflect…
Reflection is a mirror, “it helps us to observe ourselves without criticism.” And every man needs one, not just the kind that shows your face, but the one that reveals your character. In the confusion of today’s culture, where masculinity is sometimes celebrated, sometimes cancelled, it takes real courage to pause and ask some deep questions. “Reflection is where healing begins. It is not a sign of weakness, but wisdom.”
Many men are silently navigating immense pressures: to provide, to lead, to stay strong, and yet also to be emotionally open. It’s a delicate and often exhausting dance. Without reflection, burn out is inevitable.
Realign…
Once we’ve reflected, the next step is to realign. Realignment is a bold return to what truly matters; faith, family, integrity, mental wellness, and healthy relationships. In his words, “You may need to forgive someone, or even yourself.”
In a society where distorted images of masculinity are often louder than authentic ones, realigning means refusing to let culture dictate your identity. It means showing up, present, grounded, and whole. For your partner. For your children. For yourself.
This is where positive masculinity thrives. It’s not about dominance, ego, or perfection. It’s about using your strength to uplift, your voice to affirm, and your presence to guide. But you need YOU to be able to be all these.
Renew…
To renew is to recommit. Every day, we get a chance to renew our mind, our emotional health, and our contribution to the world around us. According to Fr. Ben, “renewal isn’t about erasing the past, but about emerging from the past, better.” He added that “renewal takes place when grace meets willingness.” Simply put, you have to be intentional to recommit.
Let’s normalise men asking for help. Let’s normalise rest, therapy, and vulnerability. Let’s give each other and ourselves permission to grow, to feel, and to be human.
This June, may we reflect courageously, realign wisely, and renew boldly.
Let’s Talk…
In LRM, we believe in real conversations that lead to real change. So, I’d love to hear from you:
– What does positive masculinity mean to you?
– As a man, what’s been your biggest challenge in staying true to who you are?
– How do you handle the tension between society’s expectations and your true self?
– And to the women reading; how have you seen positive masculinity impact the men and boys in your life?
To everyone reading:
– Where are you in the journey of reflecting, realigning, and renewing?
– What role has mental health awareness played in your growth or relationships?
– How can we support the mental and emotional health of men in our communities?
Drop a comment. Share your thoughts. Share your story. Let’s grow stronger together.
Because healing happens when we talk. And legacy is built when we live what we say.
To our men, please, be that man who leave a legacy. Not just of success, but of substance. Not just of wealth, but of wisdom. The kind of man who renew the hope of the next generation.
To everyone reading, let June be a reminder: Men matter.
Their mental health matters.
Their leadership matters.
And the world still needs good men; now more than ever. And they need us too.
Dr M.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.
5 thoughts on “Positive Masculinity in a Confused World”
Thank you for such a powerful message. It’s a timely reminder that men matter: deeply.
What does positive masculinity mean to me?
It’s strength with empathy. It’s using influence to uplift, not control. It’s leadership grounded in humility and presence; not performance.
Biggest challenge as a man?
Balancing expectations. Society says “be tough” and “be open” in the same breath. Staying true to myself means choosing values over noise.
How do I handle the tension?
Through reflection and support. I’ve learned that being honest about my limits isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.
Where am I on the journey—Reflect, Realign, Renew?
I’m realigning. Choosing what truly matters: faith, family, wellness and purpose. Letting go of the pressure to be everything, and just being present.
How has mental health awareness helped?
It’s opened up real conversations. With friends. With myself. It’s helped me show up more fully in every role I carry.
How can we support men better?
Listen without judgment. Check in. Create space for rest, for honesty, for healing. Normalise growth and emotional wellness.
As a young father, I’ve had to navigate what it means to be a man in today’s world. For me, positive masculinity is about being a good role model for my kids, showing them that it’s okay to be vulnerable, emotional, and empathetic. It’s about being a supportive partner to my wife and creating a loving, safe environment for our family.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced is balancing societal expectations of what it means to be a “man” with being true to myself. Growing up, I was taught that men should be tough, stoic, and providers. But as I’ve grown older and become a father, I’ve realized that those expectations can be limiting and unhealthy. It’s taken time for me to feel comfortable showing emotions, asking for help, and prioritizing my mental health.
To overcome these challenges, I’ve found personal practices like gratitude, affirmation, and vision boards to be incredibly helpful. I start each day by writing down three things I’m grateful for, which helps shift my focus to the positive aspects of my life. I also use affirmations to remind myself of my values and goals, such as “I am enough” or “I am a loving and supportive father.” These practices help me stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.
My vision board is another powerful tool that helps me visualize my goals and aspirations. I’ve included images and words that represent my dreams for my family, my relationships, and my personal growth. It serves as a reminder of what I’m working towards and helps me stay motivated and focused.
As a father, I’ve seen the impact of positive masculinity on my kids. They see me expressing emotions, being vulnerable, and taking care of my mental health, and they’re learning to do the same. It’s beautiful to see them grow into empathetic and compassionate individuals.
For me, mental health awareness has played a huge role in my growth and relationships. I’ve learned to prioritize self-care, seek help when I need it, and be open about my struggles. It’s helped me become a better partner, father, and person.
If I’m honest, I’m still on a journey of reflecting, realigning, and renewing. There are days when I struggle to balance everything, but I’m working on it. I believe that supporting men’s mental and emotional health is crucial, and I try to create spaces for the men in my life to open up and share their struggles.
To the men reading this, I’d say don’t be afraid to show your emotions, ask for help, and prioritize your mental health. Experiment with practices like gratitude, affirmation, and vision boards – they might just be the tools you need to stay focused and motivated on your journey. To the women reading this, I’d say thank you for being supportive and understanding. Your love and acceptance mean the world to us.
Wonderful piece of writing. More men need to read this.
Thank you Doc for sharing your thoughts and for caring about men’s mental health; it cannot be a random coincidence that June is the month for talking about this most ignored subject topic. It’s also refreshing to read about positive masculinity from the perspective of an African woman.
All human beings, regardless of sex or gender, are created by God to be good for after God created man male and female, he saw them and they were very good. It is to this end that I understand positive masculinity (and we had better include positive feminity to the equation asap): the use of all the male features for goodness and as Jesus says, no man is good except God.
Therefore, a man who isn’t connected to God who is good and who does not obey the commands of God who is good cannot meet the demands of or exhibit the traits of positive masculinity.
Such a man can only try but will fail because as scripture says, cut off from me, you can do nothing.
I sincerely appreciate reading this article and all the comments so far. My experience has taught me that one cannot be truly a man without a rebirth. Because people will frustrate you, unless there is that power from above that helps you to look beyond their responses.
Meditation and Prayer help us to enter inside, open up and even cry to the real person who truly understands and cares for us. Good friendship also helps.